on Swarm

I am interested in the experiential narrative as the imperative and as the subjective. The delicate nature of the human brain makes it susceptible to many types of damage and disease. Topography is the description of such surface shapes and structures. Within one person is a multitude, an interior that braids together disparate structures as they are internalized, changing their shape and its own shape as each shred becomes known. There is no need for falseness or overt direction; outside of depicting emotion, the presentation of delicate facts is effective in relating a unified body of feeling. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. Poetics is a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or may be thought to be. Hand-colored vision depicts a place that may be arbitrary through a lens of feeling that may be arbitrary, incorporating a variety of auxiliary language that may be arbitrary. Their painting is despotic and capricious as an unreasonable act of the individual. Agency is given to the prickling and invasive outside as it is filtered through webs of neural tissue and regurgitated. When related together, connected by language, it can be read as prescribed intent. It is my intent to intend. It is my intent to give history to the ultrapersonal and unrelatable.

Acts of creation such as the composition of music, of relationships, of woven thread, of loss, of narratives of a calm and tempered account of my existence so often in close proximity to abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality punctuate my experience of the self as living; to create is to provide proof of existence. These things have all happened to me. If I wish to represent clarity I must henceforward focus not on vitality nor on mortality, promote not reproduction nor reduction, seek not longevity nor brevity. The task is historical, philosophical, even metaphysical in scope. Representation must become the obverse, the opposite of its former self. I study the contemporary history of the developing nations. Famines do not simply represent a point of failure in a system, but rather can be called the final stage in an larger process of the breaking down of social reproduction mechanisms and are indicative of the global food complex’s vulnerability to the socially blind hand of the market, whose favor can only be called by the possibility of the highest return. I am just as likely to reinforce global patterns. I at times attempt through writing to rub my own nose in the shit of the West as it rests on the floor of the South. I invariably attempt to compound the issue, whose many facets do not lend gracefully to an overarching conclusion. It is more pure to give an accurate list than to defend a well-crafted argument, or it is less pure. I have often felt pain due to an overdependence on initial response. It is an investigation into the non-efficacy of the dominant method. It is to further aggravate this problem without uniform, or at least to shake the large hive of bees until the potency of their response can be observed. Interpretation is left to those who wish to destroy and illuminate the arrangement.